professionally me...

i had no clue what i will be taking up as a career till two years back... was a science student in school with maths and biology as options... chose both of them and today i am not a engineer or a doctor or anything related to the same... y i say engineer n doctor is coz those are the basic professions thought of when one is in school and then later in life u decide that what u want to specialize in... well, in graduation had botany, chemistry and computer applications... a course that you take for three years and still doesn't take you anywhere... as you are still stuck with the same question as three years back... that what career will i take... :)

so, now i decide to take CAT, so that i can enter a good B school and may be then i can know where i will reach... coz till now i know that it is not me who will be deciding wht will be my career fate... so i start taking preparatory classes and start studying for the same... and find that i have not made to any of the B school as i have not made any near to the cut off percentile... so the year after grad, i take a break and again prepare... and i foresee a similar fate as last year... so luckily or coincidentally, i also think of a backup plan - now, i have also filled a small B school form with a good brand name attached with it... but till the end i am very unsure of joining it...
in the meantime, i also get a part time job offer as a student counselor for some under graduate students who have come all the way from abroad, which is a nice experience... coming back to this school thing - i take the written test, m called for the GD, then for the personal interview round... and finally get a call to join the institute... which after much thought i do... on the personal front, there is a decision to make... to leave my maa and home and settle in different city...

but i adapt to this change very nicely... staying with other four gals in the pg... adjusting in different environment... getting to know new people, with different ways of thinking and back-biting... learnt a way to handle that also... but it was good interacting with few professors who gave some interesting classes... otherwise the whole year passed while reading books/ novels sitting at the last seat of the class... multi-tasking you see...

nearing the end of the year at the institute, got to know about the placements and the work profile we would be having (which was common to all) - business development in the print industry - there was a clash actually in what i had studied and imagined what my work would be and finally getting into sales... a great disconnect between the two...

at work, it took about 3 months to understand the kind of work and the nitty-gritties involved in it... next three months were enough to apply that understanding into work and also getting to know that this is not i want to do for a longer period of time... as i thought that i have the capability to give more output to an organization in terms of the analytical and interpretation skills... so i started thinking of changing my job and that too - soon...

by this 6 months' time, the time for confirmation came... this was a one-to-one discussion with my boss, who thought that i have the capability to give more but i am not doing that... for which i told her my intent about what kind of work i would also like to do along with the sales part of the work... after this discussion, my confirmation in the company was delayed for another 3 months... this 3 months' period was also decided in a funny way... when i was discussing this with my vertical head, my branch head was also present at that point of time... so when my boss asked me of the time that i would want to take for showing my work capabilities... i said about a month's time... my branch head said take 2 months time to be on the safer side... to this my boss said... u take 3 months which was finally agreed on...

on post-thought on the same... that was a good time for me to find a new job and switch to a place where i like the work that i am doing... and it is work that is driving me to give my best to it... those 3 months when i had to prove myself... i did a good job at that... i used to communicate regularly to her about what i was doing - which i didn't do earlier... that improved a lot of situation... so when i resigned, my boss was of the opinion that i was a good employee...

i would say this little stint at that first job, was a good experience and i learnt a few pointers in professional life (on which i ll write later)...

joining the new place - second job... was a nice turn of events and that too at the right time... this i have always noticed... that i God also makes me waiting and anxious till the last point and then suddenly shows me a path which takes me to a beautiful world... its like that jungle where you can see only trees and shrubs from a longer distance and when i start traversing that path and start exploring that path with some difficulties and confusions in mind... i start seeing things as they happen... and i finally reach the right place...

this thing has always happened... i can quote hundreds of examples like that... to mention a few... after 10th i had to decide which subjects to choose... i took maths + bio, without a plan or without knowing what i wanted to do in life... as i studied that, i realized that i don't want to be an engineer or a doctor... then i had to take up some course for graduation, i chose botany, chemistry & computer applications - again without even thinking that where this will take me, by the end of the course i realized i don't want to enter into some medical research or bio technology kind of field... so then i decided to take CAT tests & enter some B school... then i was unsure about joining the institute that i later did... which in the end proved a good choice... but then i landed on a job which was not to my taste... so unsatisfied me started looking for a change... which also didn't happen very quickly and took me some time... and that now is proving a good option that i was given in life... so i can say, that i the start when i have certain confusions in life and when i want to decide quickly on that... it doesn't happen when i think of deciding it - it only happens when it has to happen... the only thing i am sure of is that... that whatever happens, happens for good and at right time too for me (touch wood)...

and i know that i have deviated from the topic that i started talking about... so now i ll continue with the story at the second job in the next post...

c ya then...

cheers...!!!

the revolutionary substitute

to start with the posts - will share my "once upon a time" kind of creativity... this was graduation year 2003 when there was a creative workshop that was organised in our college... i had presented my poem - here it goes...

it is a wonder to me
and it just makes me feel
whether i am so abysmal a being
who always has to run after others' heel.

sometimes it makes me cry
when i dont know the reason why
others say or do such hurting things
which affects my daily living
as the clock's hands go by ticking.

this all takes me to the prior question
which at the moment
takes all my attention
Am I such an abysmal being?

I dont aspire to be a
girl who's prim and proper
but can i ever have
the potential to carry out a murder -

the evils of life are
so difficult to kill
and there mere presence
makes me deathly ill

it takes time and patience
to fix the things, clear the air,
iron out the creases and straighten the fold
all that is needed is a very determined,
high resolved soul
which is persistent and oh-so-bold

but there is always a kind of helplessness
when you always have to guess and assess
what thought is racing through other
person's so precious a mind
whether is it shrewd and wicked
or so gentle and very kind.

then finally i seek the
advice of my conscience
which is more or less
telling this to me all the time

That to change everything
simply change your attitude
This would prove to be the
world's best Revolutionary Substitute.

the reactions to this poem were - Mixed... the judges liked it... my friends loved the idea in it... and interestingly enough, through this poem i also found few people who were judging me as a person... that i was a very depressed kind of a person and i am thinking on the terms of killing some people on this earth - which is not at all the idea of the poem...

but as u know that there are so many different people and not everybody is good at understanding the idea behind the poetry... so u might also want to know what i did with these people's reactions... well i did nothing to explain anything or myself or my idea to them... :)

well so this was my awarded creation... will soon write about other important and not so important things...

Cheers!!!

starting off...

this is the third time i have started writing for the same post in this blog since the last one hour... dont exacly know how to start... i think it always is a little difficult to enter into something new and adopt it but i feel once u start it, it becomes a part of life and u start living with it... and you grow on it and it grows on u...


i dint plan to start this post with the philosophy getting included in there... but i guess there would be a note of that also in all my posts... this comes naturally to me... analysing things and finding reasons for everything that happened and understanding why it happened what happened...


let's see how far this can continue... my posts will not all be about the present... they will also include my past and future... of all the special people that i have around me... the journey i have taken in life, of what i have become, of what i want to become, how i see life, how i see people, what interests me, what these interests have made me, my passion - dance - which is like a connect with my soul - the only time when i dont know about the rest of the world and how i believe that every person must have one passion in life so that he/ she can connect with oneself and know exactly where they stand... will also be including few things that i have written in the past...




earlier it mostly used to be the time when i was particularly sad and dint had anybody to espress my feelings that i used to write about things which were troublesome at that point of time... it worked as a vent to those depressing and frustrating emotions... and i was back to my normal self... but from now on i would like to record even the best, good and ok times which i have faced...


also, the professional life - what i have become and the journey there - how i have achieved what i have... what threatens... and so on......


after just jotting all the things that i would like to include seems too much and i fear how much justice i would be able to do with it... but will take this up... and write regularly...