The Roller Coaster Ride...!!

Don't blame me darling for not writing in soon enough... but as u can see it was all a roller coaster ride in the past one year... i know, i know this is really a very long time to not write in and keep you updated with the happenings.. but as u see that in my previous posts i was at the edge of something good and that you saw how i was on a high with good things around... but as you know babes that the sentence "this too shall pass away" holds so true in life... so on the same track record that "happiness or the so-called good times" - all flew away...

it is really a long time that i have visited my blog, so i just went through what i had earlier mentioned and found how happy i was at that point in time and it really makes me feel good today because all that i had at that time, i don't have any more... and right now i am again in that heavy mood where i can definitely, for sure say that there is a huge void inside me - in every way i can say... its both personal and professional... u ll notice that my "every way" is limited to my personal and professional life only... but now that i am pointing this out i am also wondering whether there any other kinds of life too in this practical materialistic world...!!

but whatever said and done the few decisions that i had to take at the time where i needed to be sure about what was happening with me and around me, i did the right thing... well that is what i thought and went ahead with that... and that hurt a lot... it was definitely the down swing of the roller coaster ride... Oh it was hard... i can't even tell you how much... but the scorpio strength of justice took me forward and i did it and came out as a winner (sort of, now i can use this term - after almost an year - earlier i was not sure if i was the winner or not)... as it is winner or loser is not the question here... the question was - what was the right thing... the effort was - to finally decide and break it all... but there was a relief in that break too... and as all the breakings, this one also hurt, left a scar for some time... and then it was over...

personal area - sort of settled at one end... leaving a void at that time... now recuperated... then again, few other things, now, at the work place changed... and the job that i liked so much... which revived me totally, which gave me power to believe that i was doing a great job, that i was progressing somewhere, which was like an internal discovery... really took a U-turn... and now i am like that person who wishes to do good work but has no motivation left to do it... which is killing me as i am not the person who does not want to work and i am right now also not the person who will kill someone for this job... Shucks! this is still the part of that downward roller coaster ride...

so again there is that loathing time that has come where i am not liking anything around me... and wishing hard to change the situation around... i am realizing this is the same feeling like the jungle that i had mentioned in one of previous blogs, from the far off, where there is only thick dense forest where i am not able to locate the path ahead... and i still have sometime to reach closer to the forest and find a little narrow way out which will make me escape this situation...

with some hope inside me i am traversing the path, wondering at the mysteries that are at present hidden from the naked eye... i yet have to cross this yet unlighted path and to reach the destination which will be enlightening enough, as always... the great learning experience...!! though to tell you that this waiting is really painful and hard, won't be a lie... but the ultimate destination is the thing to wait for... indeed!!

so again hoping for the best ahead... and hoping to write sooner... which i ll... take care...

Cheers...!!