We are going to pull you down.!!??

Plans are building up, the windmill has started running. 

You know you are a little different from other people - in a good way or bad way - make your own choice. You want to do something big, something for which you will be recognized, a name to reckon for. You feel you had no special talent but still you have pinned down your niche. You have picked up a certain direction towards which you want to work for that elusive success. The idea seems feasible, you think about it. And then some more. You conclude that its worth a shot and you start acting upon it.

The idea grows on you. The whole thing is still an idea but the complete image looks beautiful to you. You even have timelines for it broken down to long term and short term goals. This is how serious you are for this dream of yours. The hopes are high, the plans are set. Everything is so perfect in your mind that you are bursting with pleasure and are in a dreamy state about it. You want to wait for the world to see and acknowledge the success of the picture that you have created in your head. 

Yet that is going to take time as it is just an idea that you have right now. And one day you are sitting with someone close and whom you trust, and then you start sharing your plan with the intent of getting them to conform with the idea or maybe also dismiss your unspoken doubts, but instead you get a condescending look implying "are you out of your friggin' mind!! what made you think you can even try something like that? Haven't you got something better to do rather - maybe at your current work place or with your personal life - like go out, meet people? What is up with all this new non-sense?" One look says the most of it or sometimes it is even a rhetorical question back at you, something like "Whaaattt? Now you want to become Shobha De?" And you end up thinking, where did this come from? When this close person should very well be knowing that you hate the guts of Shobha De for being what she is - well, as a writer - to be precise. And why do you think this person will know that you hate her, is because of the simple reason that you yourself have told her innumerable times in your past conversations. 

There are doubts in the mind of people. There are people who will always think that you can't do anything or whatever you are saying you want to do - its all bluffing. They will be sarcastic, they might even look down on you thinking this one is so young, s/he can't possibly do what s/he intends to achieve. There will be sardonic laughs or just a blank face - incriminating that you will let yourself down. Or possibly let them down..!! So, what is their fear for not letting you try what you want to do with your life. It won't even matter if these people are not the only two people whose opinion matter to you or who you consider will always support you, no matter what. Don't know what hurts the more - the mistrust of these in you or your trust in them. :)

Till next one...!!

Cheers..

- A

There's a jerk in you - there's a bitch in me...

When I don't like things around me

I brood the people 

When I don't approve of people around me

I damn the system

When I am new to the system

I feel something vicious is being planned

When I am old in the system 

I gossip and do the same

When others gossip 

I smell the fish

When they talk good about me

I am contented

When they rubbish me

I get offended

When I am ecstatically happy

I feel sick

When I am actually sick 

I get melancholic

When people trust me

I fancy the feeling

When they have rough patches 

I relish their misery

When they want me to help them

They become a burden

When they don't interact with me 

I doubt myself - can't be undone

When I am in despair 

I need a hand to guide

And a warm shoulder

But never thought of 

returning this favor 

'Cause I know 

There's a jerk in you

But guess what 

There's a bitch in me too...!!

To all Jerks and Bitches... Cheers..!!

-A 

In all vanity...

How time passes and life brings diverse things on the platter. I remember the time when I used to come back from School and used to have 2-3 hours for myself alone, when parents were still at work. Every month Maa used to get Nandan & Champak (Kids Magazines), and I used to indulge myself in the colorful world of beautiful Princesses, chivalrous Princes and savage Demons. After sometime, the reading bug grew so powerful that I used to read these magazines within an hour of their delivery. 

So later, I started to venture out for other areas which could fulfill my reading needs, so to say. And thus after not too much of an effort, I landed in a amazing room filled with books stack after stack to choose from. So from Tintins to Enid Blyton's Noddy series to Famous Fives & Nancy Drews came another world of stories to the platter. On the way met all the Mills & Boon and Harlequin Romances too. And have seen the journey from Harold Robbins to Ayn Rand - all the way. From Action to Love, from History to Sci-Fi, from Comedy to Horror stories to Supernatural, from Religion to scriptures, have read them all. When I look back, it seems I have known so many different people, learnt about their lives and been a part of their queer situations too. And what a fun it is to re-read a book..!! It's like meeting old friends, who you have known from the past and you know what they have went through and how their lives unturned in front of you. Its simply soothing. Bliss.

On the other hand, it has been sometime time now that I have been following different American TV Series also. It started off with the all familiar Friends series which everyone has seen it and loved it... and its oft repeated telecasts of all seasons on all the English General Entertainment channels and the result of watching them all, every time there was a telecast - I not only know the story line of each and every episode but in fact can now lip sync the dialogs too.. Still, the beauty is that I still love the series and can still watch it from any point of any episode from any series at any time. :)

Plus there was this thing to try something new and then as luck would have it, just by chance I got my hands on so many various other TV series - it was like stepping on to a huge pile of dope to someone who is an avid fan of stories... and this was a huge list of series starting from Lost to Prison Break to Alias to 24 to Supernatural at one end and The Big Bang Theory to How I met Your Mother to Two and a Half Men to Mike and Molly to Dharma & Greg to Cybill. This TV watching journey also has been eventful and it is just another way of getting know other people. 

Whether it is a book or a TV series, the most impacting have been the ones with strong characters and that throughout the story the characters have been developed and the writers have hung on to the basic traits of the character. The characters have been strong, dynamic, loose, afraid, queer, honest, whimsical or stupid. But have loved them all. 

The urge to read more is still growing, but with all the work and so many other contraptions of life, there is still lesser time to do so much that has been on the to-read and to-see list. 

So just trying to make some more time, but right now have been utilizing it to write all this stuff down. Recently have not written so much, but this is another bug which is growing by the day or lets say growing by the week or even month, since I last wrote in July sometime. :) 

so till next time...

Cheers...!!

- A

me in so many languages..!!

Only by the transliterator's help... trying to learn to write the name in all the possible languages... :)

अस्ति मिश्र (Sanskrit)

অস্তি মিশ্র (Bangla)

أسطع معشر (Arabic) 

አስት ምሽራ (Amharic) 

αστι μισρα (Greek) 

અસ્તિ મિશ્ર (Gujarati) 

אסתי משרה (Hebrew)

ಅಸ್ತಿ ಮಿಶ್ರ (Kannada) 

ആസ്തി മിശ്ര (Malayalam)

असती मिश्र (Marathi) 

अस्ति मिश्र (Nepali)

ଅସ୍ତି ମିଶ୍ର  (Oriya)  

استی مشرا (Persian) 

ਅਸਤੀ ਮਿਸ਼੍ਰਾ  (Punjabi)

асти мишра  (Russian)

асти мишра (Serbian)

අසති මිශ්‍ර (Sinhalese) 

அஸ்தி மிஸ்ரா (Tamil) 

ఆస్తి మిశ్ర (Telugu)

አስቲ ምሽርዓ (Tigrinya) 

ہستی مشرا (Urdu)

Asti Misra (English) :D 

Cheers.. (in all the languages..)..!! 

- A

There's always a 'Comma'

This time the blog post started with a real effort on the brain cells and a motivation for self to write something. Really couldn't think of a topic to elaborate on or any random story to tell and then as I started typing in the space right in front of the "Title", these three words appeared in that space - 'There's always a'... and after that it was a blank, both in my mind and the space on the post page too...  No words..!! More thinking..!! No thought..!! Total Blankness again..!! and then my fingers moved across the keypad to type something and when I looked in the Title space, there was this word staring at me - 'Comma'..!! 

So the title became - There's always a 'Comma'... 

Huh...!!?? 

Ya, that was my first reaction too...!! So now I had something to think about - this unusual combination of words in front of me... as I analyzed, it started making more sense to me and suddenly now it wasn't all that unusual... 

Isn't there always a Comma when you are separating ideas or elements in structuring a sentence..!!

Isn't there always a Comma when there is a pause between a normal conversation..!!

Isn't there always a Comma when there is a lull after an over-excited match or a high energy concert..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when you are about to make a move on a much thought over decision..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when you are about to propose to your girlfriend..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when there is a breathing spell between heated arguments in a lovers' spat..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when there is a hush after a close friend isn't talking to you..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when there is a quiet after there is someone you have lost..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when you are trying to make sense of things that have happened circumstantially and to you it makes no sense at all..!!

Isn't there always a Comma when you are sulking over somethings that you never thought someone close will do to you..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when you are waiting for the most important result in your life..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when you are most content..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when you have achieved the goals that you set out for..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when you are with the most important person in your life..!! 

Isn't there always a Comma when you are in Love..!! 

So, i guess There's always a Comma...!! Ain't it..?? 

See you all after a Comma... :) 

Cheers...!!

- A

Why I am the way I AM Series… Part I – Veneration...

Hey you all...!!! 

To explain some about this series, this is an attempt for whatever I have been able to do with myself, don't intend to write it on a serious note... though it is a gratitude, acknowledgment, adulation series for all that I have, the inherent traits that I got, the ones I developed and for the most important person that I got in my life - my Maa who has been like the best friend, best teacher, best motivator, the strength for me... thought might as well do it now than to linger it to the time when I don't have time to do this... Have planned 4 parts in the series till now - don't know if they could be truncated within these four or will extend to the next part... but the 4 planned till now are : 

• Part I - Veneration : Scenarios that I AM - its an assorted scenarios that define Me. 
• Part II - Exaltation : Traits that I AM. 
• Part III - Reverence : Maa - the One who made Me. (Thank God for Her)
• Part IV - HIS Grace : The Unforeseen - the situations that made Me. 

So taking it ahead, with the first part... Enjoy reading...!!

Part I – Veneration – Scenarios That I AM (assorted)

Take the essence and find Me... :)

Ø  A sight-seeing bus is threading its way through crowded city traffic; its occupants eagerly view the sights.

Ø  What has been a handsome and valuable bottle lies broken and forgotten; a track of living perfume leads from it.

Ø  At a clearing of pioneer days in the forest all the neighbors have gathered to assist in a happy house-raising.

Ø  In an old-fashioned candle lighting service a youth gains for the first time a sense of the great other world.

Ø  A massive rocky shore presents its unchanging face of the centuries to the furies and coaxing calms of the sea.

Ø  A queer craft equipped with special machinery is the base of operations for courageous divers of the deep sea.

Ø  A beautiful gem of a lake set high in the mountains is revealed in the silvery bathing light of a full moon.

Ø  A dentist hard at work; man-made porcelain replaces nature's enamel which consciousness has been unable to hold.

Ø  A fellowship supper is served to a group of men brought together in reunion to live again in forgotten moments.

Ø  There is great excitement on the narrow and treacherous beach; finally a drowning man is saved and brought ashore.

Ø  A brilliant assembly of dignitaries is seen on a highly polished dance floor; it is an important embassy ball.

Ø  In a rattle trap old wooden barn an earnest man works in a maze of apparatus; invention at the point of success.

Ø  Through a seemingly inaccessible mountainous country the telephone linemen carry their thin lines of communication.

Ø  In unconscious occult symbolism a group of laughing, joyous children are playing on five mounds of sand.

Ø  A girl's face is revealed of fine, delicate, aristocratic features; suddenly these break into a glorious smile.

Ø  A woman is great with child; the remarkable thing is that she was impregnated by her own spirit or aspiration.

Ø  A winding quiet road, carpeted by the falling leaves, leads through an old fashioned woods rich in autumn color.

Ø  A wise old parrot has been listening attentively to the conversation and preening himself; now he begins to talk.

Ø  An immensely tall entranceway is closed by heavy and dark velvet portieres; a woman in white draws these aside.

Ø  A soldier runs the risk of court-martial in remaining absent without leave, but a lovely miss clings to him.

Ø  A group of hunters protected by heavy clothing are making their way out into the marsh to shoot wild ducks.

Ø  A little white rabbit rests contentedly in his cage; before the eyes he metamorphoses into an elf in a fairy glade.

Ø  A steady stream of people down a mountain side gives testimony to the power of the man who has there addressed them.

Ø  An x-ray machine is in operation; by means of it a bit of fine diagnosis is made possible, and a life is preserved.

Ø  A group is making camp; as if by magic the teepees are erected and home comfort established.

Ø  Scintillating with the flash of the instruments and the colors of banners and uniforms, a military band is marching.

Ø  A pageant of fairyland is made visible to mortal eyes; the king of the little people is welcomed to his domain.

Ø  The town jester is in his element; it is Halloween and there is now justification for any and all of his pranks.

to be continued to Part II - Exaltation...!! catch u all later... till then... 

Cheers...

- A


(P.S. I am forgetting the source, but the quotes are taken from a site.)

Traffic Jam and Life...

Any coincidences there if I say that we are all stuck in a traffic jam or we are stuck in a life…!! was watching a scene from a movie when it struck me that our expectations from traffic jams and life are almost the same… there is an inherent desire that we always get smooth road ahead with no bumps, or crazy drivers jumping-in in front, vehicles coming in from wrong directions, people suddenly appearing on turns to cross streets, or someone parking right in the spot when you had a hard time finding that spot in the busiest market or someone honking incessantly on your tail or someone blocking your way to go ahead even when there is available space... some usual scenarios which we really want to avoid or wish they never happen while we are on the road... 

So the scene from the movie - 

A guy just stops his car in the middle of the road as he sees his fiancee/ to-be-wife (as this is their wedding day) is returning back from the chapel without waiting for him to reach there and it is totally his fault as he told her over the phone just a few moments ago that he can't marry her... but still stops as he remembers the past few years that they had spent together and what it could have been, if it would have been moments... and in the meantime the girl gets down and scowls, berates, and thrashes him... and her girl friends push her and take her away to her home... now this guy stands and wonders in the middle of the road what should he do next... actually he is blank... maybe perplexed by the whole situation which he is now into... though he is not yet analysing how this happened or why it happened or who is responsible for all this but he is just standing unknown of the fact of his location... and just then another kind of impatient-yet-patient-to-let-all-this-drama-to-happen guy sitting in a car behind honks and shouts out loud, "Make a move man...!! Don't just stand there...!!"

All this was quite interesting, not because it was some emotional scene from a romantic mushy movie but because in life also we need such people around who can tell us or even shout at us - "Make a move man...!! Don't just stand there...!!" coz there are times when it takes so much time just to understand what has happened to one, how it happened, why it happened, why to me, why not to someone else, what did I do wrong, what did the other person did wrong, whose fault was it, who is to be blamed, why is God doing this to me, and all those things... someone needs to just push you ahead in life so that you don't get stuck in the situation, so that later in life you realize that how much time has been wasted on the things that could have been worked out better, if there was someone to give that faith to you... Faith to move ahead, strength to take that step... and to keep flowing - just like the water...!! 

To water, this time... Cheers...!!

- A